This is me at 17. Two years before this was taken I had reddish brown feathered hair and was secretly still playing with Barbies. One year before I had a bob and looked like a 16 year old soccer mom (I was going for preppy but soccer mom is what actually happened). I’ve been thinking about being a teenager a lot lately because I recently did an interview with Izzy from Care Bears on Fire for my friend Matt Wolf’s Teenager blog. Also because I am teaching a lyric writing workshop on Monday at the Brooklyn Rock Camp for Girls. I remember being nervous as a teen, numbed out and self hating, but it was also such a great time for experimentation and figuring out what my aestetic was, what kind of music I REALLY liked vs.what was cool. I went thru a truly embarrassing Jim Morrison faze and I HATE what the Doors sound like.  I think it was more about his pasty drug ridden body. A year before that all my fantasies were fueled by a huge black and white poster of Mikael Baryshnikov in tights. WTF???? Weird to look back and not have any memory of where you were coming from. Anyways, it gives me so much joy to know that these teenage girls are making music together. I mean seriously, I couldn’t even imagine being in a band when I was in highschool.

Since sixteen and seventeen weren’t that long ago for me. I went through a phase of never brushing my hair, smoking weed everyday and snorting pills before class everyday. I was also doing super well in school and was a fashion icon, ha! I had trouble with body weight and depression though, but that was just my teen angst. So self hate here too. Laxative pills, speed, starving, the works. Self harm.

I also spent a lot of time chain smoking at Waffle House and hanging out with my “cool” older friends and partying. I also hated school and listened to a lot of Lunachicks, the Smiths, Siouxsie, the National, The Chameleons, and a lot of other awesome music. I read a lot of Kerouac, that was my first time falling in love with him officially and considered myself to be the next Bukowski, ha! At 17, I was doing harder drugs and painting a lot and being a pain in the ass teenager.

and to be honest, I forget what else. Lots of sadness but lots of fun too.

(Source: fuckyeahkathleenhanna, via rawblissballs)